Living With HIV - part 1
December 1st is Worlds Aids Day and I would like to share with you a story. I asked my close friend to write what its been like living with HIV at 21 years of age in 2012.
"Hi my name is *Mandy, I'm 21 years old and on 15 February 2011 I found out I was pregnant and HIV+. I remember the day like it was yesterday. My heart was heavy, unsure of my life. Will I die tomorrow? Will I ever be loved? Will I ever have children of my own? So many questions went through my mind that afternoon.
Who was to blame? It is easy to put the blame on someone else but this time I knew that I was equally to blame. He said the condom was too tight and that he would rather not put it on. I refused and asked me if I had anything to hide. To prove that I had nothing to hide, we didn't use any protection.
While still in the doctors room that afternoon, I called the man who I had contracted the disease from and his reply was 'I'm in Cape Town, we'll talk when I come back'. I guess he's still coming back because till this day I have not spoken or heard of him.
For the next two weeks I cried myself to sleep, every time when I closed my eyes I saw my whole life flash in front of me. At that moment in time I was very negative. How was I going to disclose my status to my parents? I couldn't imagine seeing the change of love in their eyes when they would know that their daughter is no longer a virgin let alone HIV positive.
Suicide has crossed my mind so many times but with the grace of God, love and acceptance from my parents, I am able face the day with no worries. I no longer worry as much as I used to about what will happen to me when I get sick. I have stopped pitying myself. I am currently not on any kind of treatment. I don't know how long I will live but I do know that I need to be healthy not only for me but also for the people who love me. It hasn't been easy and I try not to think about it a lot, but the more I try to talk about it, the better it becomes.
Yes, I am scared. I know I am not going to die anytime soon from an HIV related sickness and with that assurance I am able to pursue everything I doubted. I cry, but not as often as I used to, sometimes I feel like sharing my HIV status with the whole world like now. Surprisingly, HIV has cured my soul from the evil of the world. I am more cautious than I have ever been. Being HIV+ has showed me that I can do the impossible, I am unstoppable. This is just the beginning, I refuse for anyone or anything to put me down because of my HIV status. I can see it, My future is beautiful." - Mandy
*to conceal her identity, her name has been changed
Accept what you cannot change and live positively. HIV is not the end of your world. Be bold and don't hold back.
@AndyPouts
Tiwtter
"Hi my name is *Mandy, I'm 21 years old and on 15 February 2011 I found out I was pregnant and HIV+. I remember the day like it was yesterday. My heart was heavy, unsure of my life. Will I die tomorrow? Will I ever be loved? Will I ever have children of my own? So many questions went through my mind that afternoon.
Who was to blame? It is easy to put the blame on someone else but this time I knew that I was equally to blame. He said the condom was too tight and that he would rather not put it on. I refused and asked me if I had anything to hide. To prove that I had nothing to hide, we didn't use any protection.
While still in the doctors room that afternoon, I called the man who I had contracted the disease from and his reply was 'I'm in Cape Town, we'll talk when I come back'. I guess he's still coming back because till this day I have not spoken or heard of him.
For the next two weeks I cried myself to sleep, every time when I closed my eyes I saw my whole life flash in front of me. At that moment in time I was very negative. How was I going to disclose my status to my parents? I couldn't imagine seeing the change of love in their eyes when they would know that their daughter is no longer a virgin let alone HIV positive.
Suicide has crossed my mind so many times but with the grace of God, love and acceptance from my parents, I am able face the day with no worries. I no longer worry as much as I used to about what will happen to me when I get sick. I have stopped pitying myself. I am currently not on any kind of treatment. I don't know how long I will live but I do know that I need to be healthy not only for me but also for the people who love me. It hasn't been easy and I try not to think about it a lot, but the more I try to talk about it, the better it becomes.
Yes, I am scared. I know I am not going to die anytime soon from an HIV related sickness and with that assurance I am able to pursue everything I doubted. I cry, but not as often as I used to, sometimes I feel like sharing my HIV status with the whole world like now. Surprisingly, HIV has cured my soul from the evil of the world. I am more cautious than I have ever been. Being HIV+ has showed me that I can do the impossible, I am unstoppable. This is just the beginning, I refuse for anyone or anything to put me down because of my HIV status. I can see it, My future is beautiful." - Mandy
*to conceal her identity, her name has been changed
Accept what you cannot change and live positively. HIV is not the end of your world. Be bold and don't hold back.
@AndyPouts
Tiwtter
Mandy is such a role model to many young people
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